A 2018 #PBL reflection

I’ve just wrapped up my first year as a PBL teacher; thirteenth year in total. When I embarked on my journey to be an educator 14 years ago, I never could have imagined the twists and turns my life

would take. So, as I try to do every year, I’m reflecting on what this
most recent teaching experience means for me as I move forward. What just happened? What did I learn? What did my students learn? What do I need to do for next year? I wanted to share my top 5 reflections with you below:

1. I over did it. I was warned to not bite off my than I could chew, but ambition took over and I swamped myself in trying to teach in a way that I wasn’t ready... and neither were my students. I appreciate individualized learning for what it is, but I didn’t set it up the way I needed to. I have to incorporate more of my natural teaching style, and integrate individualized learning in a more organized way.... deadlines...! 
2. Co-teaching is amazing. I was fortunate to work with a set of co-teachers that were remarkable, passionate and creative. Being part of a team that adjusts easily, sets high standards for each other, and works together to meet those standards is an experience all educators should have. It is with their help that this year was the success we needed it to be for our students. 
3. Standards based grading is what students need. I grew up in the points system. Do this... get points. Do that.. get points. Points! Points! Points! When you remove the points and let students show you what they know, they realize that the learning is central to the experience. There is never an empty feeling of failure when a student has all year to demonstrate understanding within a standard. When you add to it the theory of decayed averages that allow for the most recent completed work to have a stronger influence on a student’s overall grade, then it shows we are working for our kids, and not against them. There is always opportunity for showing learning/growth. 
4. Math portfolios! I’ve been wanting to create an opportunity for my students to build math portfolios to show what they have learned through out the school year. I took the chance this year to make it happen and the feedback that I received from my students was very positive. Naturally, I wanted the portfolios to be challenging, so that I could fully see the depth of each student’s understanding. What I was most proud of was the perseverance they showed in completing them. They knew the value the portfolio held towards their grade being that is was the very last picture they could paint for me regarding their growth in learning. More than 90% of all my students completed the portfolio. Almost all of my Algebra students used it to bump their final scores, some from C’s to A’s. I loved seeing the pride they had in themselves when they turned it in. For next year, I’m going to expand the portfolios. Make them longer and more in-depth, but also give the students the majority of the year to complete. Collecting them at the end of each trimester to provide feedback and scores. 
5. Relationships over content. This one is central to my philosophy of education, but held true this year. I feel like this was my worst year ever as a teacher of content. I know that my students learned, but I also know that I didn’t help them all reach their potential. I left a lot on the playing field... some of it never even got in the game. But, you wouldn’t know it if you asked my students. The feedback I received from their portfolios was incredibly supportive and caring. They thanked me for a great year, and wanted me to know how much they appreciated me and my ability to connect with them. I read all of these messages and it hit me that for the majority of my students, the take away for this year in working with me is that I cared, and I made it enjoyable to be around math. Sure lessons matter, but it’s in how the kiddos are treated that memories are created. 

If you’re a parent to a school aged kiddo, take the time to reflect on your own kiddo’s experience. Maybe journal it somewhere for memory sake. I know that I asked all of my students to have someone (parent/guardian) write a message in their portfolios for future reference. It’s an amazing future moment to create.

If you’re a teacher, share some of your reflections from this year on my Facebook page or in the comments below. You can also connect with me on Twitter. It’s all about community, so feel free to connect, so we can learn from each other.

Why cell phones may not be the problem

The topic of technology and cell phones in the classroom is one that cycles through conversation circles quite frequently. A recent article sparking discussion is from The Washington Post about a company called Yondr. This company has created a “pouch” to store student cell phones through out the school day, so they can’t use them. (click technology to read the article) The main idea being that the cell phones provide a distraction to learning that is harming student growth.


The main thing that I feel is important when discussing technology and education is to identify what technology in a classroom truly means to educators. Classroom technology is “phraseology” that encompasses way too many things, and doesn’t easily morph with the continuous educational tech

advances. For example, when I started teaching a document camera was considered “technology,” and using a Power Point presentation meant you were the “techy” teacher. But neither of those things are bringing technology into the classroom for student advancement. They might enhance a lesson, but true student growth doesn’t require a document camera.

So, for me, classroom technology is something that is required to do the job of a student. I connect this to the workplace. When we go to work, the necessary technology required to do our job is provided to us. Sure, we bring our own cell phones, but we’re encouraged to not have them out while we are working. It is also expected that we use the technology for work purposes and not for time wasting. It is understood that we are responsible for how we use the provided technology and that there are consequences for break those expectations.

This same mindset needs to be taken with our students. I’ve been fortunate to work in a 1-to-1 student to tech ratio in my current school. Each of my students has been given a Chromebook to use throughout the school year. Our district has invested in this opportunity for our students knowing that knowledgeable use of technology is an important skill for any and all career fields.

Teachers are encouraged to push the boundaries of normal by considering web-based textbooks and learning tools that can be interwoven in the classroom to broaden critical thinking and creativity. Since all of the students have the same device, we can create a level working environment. We spend time developing and defining what digital citizenship means, and we work with our kiddos to develope a list of acceptable use guidelines that steer them away from the dependence on cell phones and social media.

This doesn’t mean it’s just perfect at our school all the time. There are still issues, and kids push the boundaries, but the opportunities to do so are limited. We have worked to engage our students in a way that keeps them focused on the projects and lessons in the classroom environment and have provided technology separate from the phones in their pockets or back packs. Having a technology “bag” for phones is a fix for sure, but it doesn’t hold the school responsible for engaging the students in a way that prevents them from using their phones in an unproductive way. It gives teachers an out from working to enhance teaching styles that help students focus on the learning and less on Snapchat  and Instagram.

This cell phone issue is highlighting the need for a shift in education. Students need to be more engaged in their own learning and teachers need to work to build learning opportunities that connect with students in a far more interesting way than the traditional methods many are holding on to. Once the work environment shifts to a more dynamic, creative, and student driven style, the cell phone issue will go away. Until then, cell phone pouches only mask the true issue and keep learning stuck in old methodologies. So maybe we need to shift the conversation away from cell phones as the problem and focus more on how we can encourage are schools and teachers to be more engaging with the content that is delivered.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Please head to my Facebook page and leave a comment, or use the comment section below.

This is my 40

On the eve of my 40th birthday, I was reminded of one of my favorite movies. I had stepped outside into a beautiful snow fall to do a “cart run” at my part-time job at a local grocery store. The parking lot was mostly empty, and the night sky was magical with the large snowflakes falling.  I imagined one of my favorite scenes from the movie as the main character, George, runs through the Main Street of town happily yelling “Merry Christmas” to everyone and everything.

It’s at this point in the movie that George had just finished an amazing reflection on his life. He was a dad, a husband, and friend. But he had always envisioned bigger things for himself. He had anticipated a different life than what he was waking up to. His daily life stressors combined with the fantasy life he envisioned for himself led to unhappiness. George had narrowed his focus to only what he didn’t have from that dream life. He was at a breaking point when he found himself in the amazing life reflection where he saw all he was able to accomplish; all the lives he had positively impacted by being himself.

I thought about all of this as I pushed a line of shopping carts through the snow. My yellow reflective jacket with the grocery store name shining in the street lights. My hair collecting snowflakes. This moment was not at all what I expected. To be a part-time cashier to make extra money was never in my plan. But it’s also part of my story that I’m proud of. I’m working hard for my crew because that’s what we need. My kids get to see my wife and I hustle to provide and to give back.

And I know that I’m on the right path when my students want to tell me about the exciting things happening for them; when my coworkers at the grocery store wave with big smiles as I walk up for my shift; when my kids run up to give me a hug before I leave to work for the night; or when my wife puts out a survey for my family, friends, and coworkers to fill out for my birthday and over 50 people sign up to share amazing memories, thoughts, and love for this 40 year old.

No, this is never what I expected, and in some ways it’s harder than I wanted, but man, I’m proud of where I’m going and all I get to do each day. I can definitely say that it’s a wonderful life. #theteacherdadis40

Me w/ my Zuzu

Friday Favorites... totally sick!

By the time I posted last week’s Teacher Dad Friday Favorites, I had called out sick from work. It was aweful! I swear that I hadn’t been that sick in more than 15 years. Shaking, chills. I seriously wanted to cry, and my kids thought I was going to have to go to the hospital. I was in bad shape.

That Friday morning I went to see the Nurse Practitioner that has become my medical person locally. She’s part of a larger group of health care providers in our area, so there is a bit of a network she’s a part of. That being the case, they have created (or use) an online system for messaging with patients, providing billing info, and keeping track of records. It’s similar to online grade books that teachers can use for communicating with parents.

So after seeing my FNP Friday morning, I left knowing that my rapid strep test was negative and that I’d have to wait all weekend to know anything more. But, with this MyChart system, I knew Sunday that my throat culture was positive for strep, and by 9am Monday my FNP had messaged me to let
me know my prescription would be waiting for me at my pharmacy! It was great, and incredibly convenient.


I even had to message her about getting a medical release to go back to work, and she was able to provide one to me online to print out with out having to go back in. I will admit that prior to this experience, I had been reluctant to sign up for MyChart. I couldn’t see why it would be helpful. But now, it’s definitly one of my new favorite things!

Thanks to The Vancouver Clinic and it’s use of MyChart! And FNP Heather, you rock! Thank you for your medical care and getting me back on my feet.

Ambitious... is that the right word?

It’s easy to imagine how hectic the home life of a family of 7 can be. Throw in teaching, blogging, part time work, small business ownership, and coaching and I’m sure your head is spinning. A normal response from someone I’m meeting for the first time is “whoa, that’s a lot; you must be tired” or “really, 5.. I can barely manage my life with 2”. My favorite all time response was: “Wow, you’re ambitious.”

I like to hold onto that “ambitious” label. I’m proud of that idea. My wife and I... ambitious:

We were ambitious when we moved from Denver to Atlanta for my wife to go to school. I had to find work. I struggled in a post 9/11 world. My wife worried for me, then her mom had a medical emergency, but came out smiling. I fought to pass a Praxis test to get into an Ed program; she was top of her photo class with a project inspired by the beautiful song “Round Here.” We felt far away. Worried about her mom, I rejoiced at my acceptance into an Ed licensure/masters program in her hometown. 

We moved. Drove all the way from GA to AK. She worked to find a job; I thrived on my new Ed path. I received my teaching license, and she worked as an after school program coordinator helping students get the support they needed. She was great, but wanted more. We started our family; I accepted my first teaching position. 

Our first kiddo was born, and she still worked. I taught and took a class here or there to complete my masters. Money was tight, but it didn’t need to be... debts had piled for school... moving.. life.. She followed her heart and started her photo business. First born wasn’t a fan of sleeping. He was sensitive to so many things. We were exhausted; I taught and went to night class. She carried, soothed, fed, built her business, and researched everything to help our boy. 

Tragedy.. we traveled 3 times to say goodbye to loved ones back in Chicago.. through sorrow grew hope; our fist baby girl. Her small business continued to grow. I change schools, but haven’t finished my masters.

We took a vacation. Life was great. Then more sorrow. So unexpected to not even get to say goodbye.  Rattled, we moved forward and planned a path to grow our family through adoption. Over a year later having shifted our plans, we have our twins. Money was tight, adoption expenses were high, but we did fund raisers.. it’ll be ok.

I finished and defended my masters project. Our 4 kiddos were great. Business was growing. But the school district was suffering. Pink slips and low moral. I began to feel like I was done. I looked for a new opportunity; we tried for another baby. It happened altogether a new opportunity and our new pregnancy. We moved from AK to WA.. the house didn’t sell, pregnancy was tricky, stress was rediculous. Healthy baby was born. Debts grew.. more moves for homes and a new school.. restarting a business.. 

Ambitious? I hold onto that, but maybe it was all just crazy. The fact that I’ve done it all with the same person at my side it just amazing. Of course we’ve argued, cried, said terrible things, thrown things, and I’ve slept on the couch a couple of times. But maybe that’s just what ambition is sometimes. It’s pushing yourself and your partner out of comfort zones to cause conflict that you then have to work through together. And I can tell you honestly that there was plenty of conflict through all of the “ambition” we’ve lived through, and some of it was down right aweful... but there is no other person in the world that I would have rather grown this life with than her. We continue to build our family on ambition and I can’t wait to see where we go from here.. but for the record, there will be no more actual moving! We’re staying put here.


*Side note: this week our oldest turns 12 marking the anniversary of my lovely wife becoming the greatest mom in the world. Happy BIRTH day!

The Teacher Dad’s Friday Favorites

I’m excited to introduce my new weekly segment called “The Teacher Dad’s Friday Favorites.” Each Friday I’m going to feature something that I find to be a “go-to” for me as a teacher and/or as a dad. This could be a thing, or a place, or a thing at a place.... whatever I want to share each week. My hope is to introduce you to a something new that you might find just as interesting or helpful. It will also be a way to give a glimpse into my life as a teacher and father of 5.

The first thing I want to share has truly been a game changer for my family. Imagine the fun of being a dad and taking 5 kids grocery shopping. The fights about who stands on which part of the cart, or who the better helper is, or the common “are we done yet?” Buffered by the irritating “oh, don’t you have your hands full” and “some one’s in the dog house having to take the kids to the store.” The awkward fake laugh reply pails in comparison to the commenter’s own belly chuckle at there own poor sense of humor.

Natuarally, any chance I got to do the shopping at night or without my kiddos was one that I took. Then my glorious wife (yes she reads the blog.. hey honey) suggested that we try Fred Meyer’s ClickList. It’s wonderful. Plain and simple they do the shopping for you, walk it to your vehicle, load it and you drive away. Yes you have to pay, but it seriosuly takes you all of 10 min to drive up, get your groceries, and leave.

How it works:
1) Download the Fred Meyer App and link it to your Rewards card.
2) Set your favorite store location
3) Start shopping for your normal items. Leave a description of what you look for when picking
    things like produce or meat.
4) Check for digital coupons to save more money.
5) Check out and set your time for pick up.

Any items you order that they don’t have available will be substituted with a similar item if you permit it when you place your order. There are certain items I don’t do this for like our favorite tea, salad dressing, and laundry cleaners. But for most others this works just fine. The best part is that you pay whatever the best price is between what you ordered and the substituted item. For example, I always order the Fred Meyer brand almond milk, but when it’s substitued with a name brand we pay the cheaper price of the Fred Meyer brand.

I can’t ever envision going back to shopping the old way again. I hope wherever you are that you can use Fred Meyer’s ClickList or some version of it. It’s truly a game changer.

The Teacher Dad: How to navigate the political landscape in your classroom.

The political landscape today is tough for educators to navigate. We feel restrained by the truth that public school teachers are NOT to be vessels for political messages. We are encouraged to stick to content, and only bring up current events if applicable to what is already planned for the classroom. As a math teacher, I see how easy it can be for teachers to stick to curriculum avoiding conversations that could ruffle the feathers of students and their parents. There is always a little voice in the back of my head reminding me that I have to toe-the-line when it comes to voicing my own opinions regarding world politics.

However, there is another voice that screams the truth.. "I became a teacher to be a positive role model to the kids in my classes!" Because, in my mind, my ultimate goal each day is to be a positive force for my students. My entire philosophy of education rests on building relationships with students by creating the trusting atmosphere students need to take academic chances. If they feel safe with their classmates in the learning environment that I'm in charge of, then they will be willing to open themselves to the mistakes needed to learn.

I'm good at this. My students trust me, and feel safe.. But now the world they look to outside of the school walls feels crazy to them. And who do they come to?.. I feel like I led you to the answer, but if you missed it.. they come to me or their trusted teachers. But we're trapped in the expectations of what a teacher should be.. and it isn't a person that talks politics with the students.

However.. I'm a smart guy, so I'd like to share with you the 3 ways you can deliver a positive message of acceptance, safety, and hope to the students without crossing that political line us teachers are advised not to cross.

1) Fairness: This may seem like a no-brainer to the best of us, but holy hell there are plenty of teachers that are simply not fair within their classrooms. At this point, it is vital that teachers display fairness to all students in every class each day. I make it a mission to discuss fairness with the students regarding decisions I make on how I grade things, how I accept late work, when I'm available for additional help, AND in maintaining order in the class. Every kiddo is treated the same respectful way, because that is the right way, NO the only way to handle things. In doing so, I'm demonstrating just how safe my classroom is for each person. That everyone is allowed the same opportunity for success, and that if someone is struggling it's up to us all to help. Because that is what fairness is. Helping others won't take away or hurt your grade. You'll still get that A, but now someone else has a chance for an A too... because you helped.

2) Creativity: This one is a little tougher at times, but work to find ways that the students can express themselves within the content area. Find ways the students can write more stories, do more art, make a song, write a play.. something that can get their creativity working. Especially in math class! Get them doing problems where they need to create something. Instead of a quiz one week, have them express their knowledge in a creative way. How can they show me they understand a concept by using an artistic form? This is an amazing way to shift the playing field for some of the students. Suddenly, those great quiz takers are having to re-think things and see their classmates in a different way. The artists thrive in getting to be the lead in a project that showcases their talents and highlights a different way to understand the math we're doing in the class. It's important to shift the lens sometimes, and finding ways to build creativity makes that happen.

3) Exploration: I've changed my teaching style over the years. I was once the typical direct instructor, but that doesn't really get the students to think. We need thinkers, problem solvers, and team players right now. With that in mind, my classes are asked to work in table teams to explore the new content together in place of me rambling on for 40 minutes. I create a set of problems that the students start with guiding them to understand the material. For example, when it came to solving systems of linear equations, they quickly learned that finding the point where two lines cross is easy with a given graph. But what if they had to find that point without a graph? What would they do? The table teams created their own methods. They figured it out using what knowledge they already had, and then problem solved. I KNOW.. right?! How cool. And yes, they figured out substitution, and then I blew their minds when I showed them elimination! But they were pumped to have done it on their own first! They critically thought out how to solve a problem together. They didn't just take what I gave them, and vomit it back on a page for me. They owned the problem and solved it!

Those three things are the backbone to bringing the positive, inclusive atmosphere students deserve in every classroom. Other important things to consider would be to find ways to have the students analyzing graphs and working in understanding data manipulations. Help them investigate how changing the scale used on a graph can warp the reality the data is showing. Create historical math problems, or better yet, put together an entire project on the Electoral College... I had one once. I put it together a made up election between Spongebob, and Shrek. I have to find that and update it...

Ultimately, own your classroom, and make it a safe place for everyone to take chances. Your classroom should reflect all of the best things you want for this world. I do all that I can to model what life should be like when my student leave. And, I encourage you to focus on the same, because that is what our students deserve.

Please use the comments section to share a story about a teacher that was your positive world influence. The teacher that you knew was working to make things better by simply being fair, creative, and exploratory with your learning.  And please share this post with your teacher friends. We're all in this together, and someone might need that reminder. Thank you!

There is no quick-fix for public education

I'm going to come right out and say it.. yes, I'm a teacher.. I'm sure the name of the blog gave it away only subtly. But I need you to know, I'm not writing this to bash our new President's pick for Sec. of Ed. You can find, and have probably already read plenty of stories, blogs, and posts about her.

Instead, I'd like to take the time to agree that our current system of education is not great. It's not the best for all students across this great country of ours. I know that there are plenty of people that struggle every day sending their kids to the local public school. It might be the teachers, the administrators, other kids, home life, educational programs, or a multitude of other possibilities. My wife and I have struggled at times sending our kids to the local public school for our own reasons. We've wished for other alternatives, and then we've gone out to find them.

But, we've had the ability to do that. We've been able to move, make long drives, and take financial chances to find the right educational environment for our kids. It's not been easy. In fact there have been countless arguments, and nights where we've cried ourselves to sleep wondering why it has to be so hard. And I'll admit that we have it better than most, but we are not even middle class. Lower middle? ..probably. It's still been a struggle.

I bring this up, because I agree that creating educational options for kids is very important. But vouchers isn't the route to take. Good to great schools are limited in space regardless on whether you have a voucher or not. Parents wanting to use a voucher will be limited in ability to get their students to out-of-district schools. And honestly, how will the government oversee the fairness of this voucher program nationwide?

I just know that it's another "All-In" option with the hope of a quick fix. But, there isn't a quick fix option for the issues surrounding public education. The problem isn't common core or standardized testing. It isn't school funding, teacher unions, or unqualified teachers. In fact, all of these educational hot topics distract from what is really damaging public education. And that's fear.

People are afraid. Parents, students, teachers, administrators, anyone that is in contact with education in any way is afraid. The best schools are the ones that have been able to squash the fear. The kids feel safe being there. The parents feel safe knowing the kids are getting fair learning opportunities. The teachers feel safe knowing that they are respected for the professionals that they are. And the Admins feel safe, knowing that they get to work in a place of trust within the community. At these schools, learning is about the growth of each student intellectually and civically through investigative projects and group work that is led of the natural inquisitive qualities of kids. And it's all possible because they aren't afraid to take educational chances.

These schools are rare, and are commonly found in communities that are generally wealthy. It's in these communities that people don't have to worry about income, health care, or the everyday safety of their children just walking to school. They are living a life we should call middle class. A life that the service industry in our country doesn't provide even at 60 hours a week.

What is wrong with our public education system has more to do with the national social injustice against those that live in our least financially stable communities than it does with Common Core or unions. We need a Sec. of Ed. that is willing to speak loudly to the need of more governmental support for the families that can barely take care of themselves, or are struggling to simply get by while the adults in the house work multiple jobs.

Now, before you step away from this post thinking I'm about to go on some liberal tirad, please understand that I've voted along both party lines in my life. I have relied on state aid with a college degree, and family to support. I've taught in a school where kids lived each day not knowing what they would eat or where they would sleep. I grew up in suburban comfort with a CFO papa and stay at home mom. I've worked in sales and management on an hourly wage busting my butt to make it ahead. I've walked away from jobs and into stints in newspaper delivery and waiting tables all with a college degree. I see the drive and hustle of the adult students in my college night class that I teach. I've seen all sides of struggle, and the hard work it takes to raise a family as best you can.

And what I've learned is that if we stripped away the struggle and fear of having to simply survive, our schools would be amazing places of safety and inquisitive discovery that allow all kids the chance to learn. If
we treated the population of our GREAT country with kindness and understanding, then our schools will be more open for all types of learning potential. But, if we continue to keep populations of our country living in suffering poverty, or in a drowning middle class then all types of education suffers, because the fear and blame will continue to spread. WE will continue to look for quick fixes that have no impact on the overall improvement in making all schools better. Our problem is a societal problem that our elected governing officials need to want to help fix. When we work together to remove some of the burden throughout our country, then education will improve. Vouchers aren't the answer. Destroying common core isn't the answer. Taking care of the people of the country is the answer. When we all get back to living comfortable lives, then we will see education excellence return to the core of our nation. This is what our Sec. of Education has to preach to our President, members of Congress, and the Senate.

Finding the positive

I'm not going to write a post highlighting the crap of 2016. I don't need to, because we all have our own pains from this year. We don't need this post to rehash more of those feelings that we can simply find in watching a news broadcast or in reading the headlines of any news source. 

So, I want to talk about a highlight of mine that I keep coming back to that needs to be shared. I have the privilege of working as a teacher to over 100 students a year. That means in the last 12 years I've at least touched the lives of 1200 different people. That means there are 1200 individuals with whom I've had the honor to share life experiences. My goal each year is to make those as positive as I can, so that I can do my part in shaping the world in which my family and I live. And I know that I have my good moments when I get the thank you notes, or the after school drop-in visits, or the facebook friend requests to let me know that I'm having the positive influence I strive to have for my students. 

The crazy part is that too often I have focused on my role as a force of positive energy for my students that I failed to open myself to all that I can learn from them. There are so many stories of strength, bravery, and inspiration that run through the lives of my students that in the hecticness of a school setting they don't get to share, because I simply don't give them the opportunity to do so in my math class. 

But on this one day about a month ago, I stopped a student (we'll call him Joe) at the start of class to ask him a question. I had grown curious to understand the story behind his relationship with a student that is part of our intensive resource program. This student has figured out Joe's schedule, and used the passing period to wait for Joe outside my room. My other students all say to the boy using his name, and giving him hi-fives...which is already awesome. But Joe gives the boy a hug each time, and spends a minute talking with him, before making sure he gets back to his class. 

After their exchange this one day, I asked Joe how he knows the student. There are always moments where I'm prepared for an answer, but I didn't see his coming. Our exchagne went as such:

Joe: Mr. Mach, he's good friends with my brother. My brother has down syndrome as well, and he comes over to our house to hang out.

Me: Oh. So, does your brother go here too? 

Joe: No, he will next year. He's in 8th grade now. 

Me: Are you excited to have him here in school with you next year?

Joe: Well.. <hesitating> No. I really don't like what they do here. It actually makes me very upset to see how they treat the students in the program. They are so much better than trash collectors. They're treated like they can't do anything. Sure it's good that they learn life skills. They need those. I know that. But, my brother didn't even know consonants and vowels, Mr. Mach. I taught him those in 15 minutes. He knows the difference now, because of me. Not the schools. They deserve so much better. 

Me: Wow. I really appreciate how passionate you are with this.. are you thinking of pursuing a career in this?

Joe: I know that I could do a better job right now. But, yeah. I really believe in these kids, and I know that I can be a voice for them that they need. 

 The conversation wrapped up shortly after that, and I did all I could to hold in the tears of pride and appreciation I had for Joe in that moment. As I mentioned above, I've worked with so many kids at this point, and I have 5 of my own.. and it's that passion I heard in his voice that all kids deserve from the adults around them. It's that drive for positive improvement I found echoing through all he was saying that pushed me to see that we're all okay. While we want to hear, and believe that the kids these days are not as connected to the world around them, I see examples like the one with Joe that prove that kids these days are just as remarkable as we need them to be. So, I'm ready for 2017 knowing that we will get through all that is thrown at us. 

Please help shine the light on the positive by sharing this uplifting story as well as one from your year. 

Thank you all of being a part of my Teacher Dad world and cheers to a safe, productive, and family centered 2017!  

How do you life?

I gave a test to my geometry students last week. The first test since election day. And much like all test days, I asked the kiddos if they had any last minute questions, reminding them, a) Yes, they have to take it, and b) No, I won't give them the answers.

I do this before every test, because I know there is that one kid who will finally ask the question that he's been meaning to ask for days, but just hasn't done it. I always answer the question even if it means that some kids won't finish the test during the class period.. more time can be found. I want the student to know that it was ok to ask the question, and that I was there to answer it. It's an opportunity to build trust with that student, so maybe next time he won't wait to the last minute.

Anxiety was high for this test, so I fielded several questions in each of my classes. Business as normal really. But then in my 6th period class (last of the day) after answering a question on incenter, and another on constructing altitude, one of my students raises his hand with one of those smiles on his face that is telling me
that he thinks he's about to be funny. I call on him, and he throws out, "Mr. Mach, how do you life?"

The class reacted with a mix of laughter, annoyance (several students just wanted to take the test), and paused reflection. It would have been easy for me to write it off, and tell the kid to cut it out, but under the circumstances of the last 2 weeks, I decided to answer the question as seriously as possible. What came out was similar to this:

How do I life? Well, I make sure that I wake up every morning with the best attitude that I can. I wake up focused on being the best version of myself that I can be each day, because in being the best version of myself I might inspire others to do the same. I life by treating people the way that I would want my kids to be treated or my grandma to be treated. I wake up knowing that if I'm honest, kind, and hard working that good things can happen around me. Because I don't know what type of day or back story those around me are having. I can only control what I bring to each day, and I life by bringing the best day that I can for me, my family, and all of you. So, that's how life. I own it. I don't blame others, and I accept people for who they are by celebrating the wonderful differences between us. Now, remove everything from your desks except a pencil, compass, and straightedge. And let's make this happen! 

My message to the class had impact that day. The student that asked the question has a tough time with school. Life isn't the easiest for this kiddo, and in that moment I said something that connected. For the first time all year, he asked questions during the test to better understand what needed to be done. He showed resolve that I'd not seen in him before. He was serious about his work, and for the first time in a long time, he cared about doing well.

I take my job seriously. Not because I LOVE math, but because I get to work with kids all day. I get to know that for a few of these kids each year, I get to be what Mr. Wyman, Coach P, Mrs. Kolder, Mrs. Nyquist, Ms. Belzer, Ms. Anderson, and plenty of others were for me.. role models. Because in my life, school is a place to grow as a person. School is a place to learn about how to be a member of society from those adults around you. I look at school as a place where compromise, listening, compassion, and
understanding are the root of success, because these things foster the trust and comfort allowed for free thought and creative thinking. School is NOT for rigid rules that create people fearful of thinking out of the box, or in thinking only what they are told to think.

There are too many schools that rule through authority, and create a level of fear that stymy the free thought needed to move our country forward. It is the responsibility of our public education system to change from our old traditions by learning to foster an environment that allows comfort for students to take chances, to learn trust and respect others out of appreciation for our individual thought and creativity.

This is an important time for teachers to work beyond the stress of regulation, standards, and evaluations. We need to see through the burden of what legislators have put on us, and in many cases, what administrators allow to fall on our shoulders. This is a time that requires us to create the safe space students deserve to be in while at school. We are the drivers of change, and the models of character that some students need.

This is a time for us to answer each question the students throw at us, and more than anything, a time to show them how to life.

Family Day - The Compassion Experience

For most people the start of November signals the beginning of the holidays. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and then it's a straight shot to Christmas and New Years. Which, I will agree, are amazing holidays each year. But for my crew, November holds a more special place in our hearts.

November is adoption awareness month (read a past adoption post here), and being that my family of 7 consists of a pair of kids that have come to us through adoption, we have an added appreciation for November. And if things weren't already great for this month, we celebrate a huge adoption milestone this month as well. We call it our "Family Day" and it symbolizes the day that our family "officially" became our family.

My wife and I have been with our boys since the day they were born. They were "ours" well before we held them in our arms, but in a world of legalities, we had to go through the court system to finalize the adoption all the way down to getting our names on their birth certificates. The day that this happened in front of a judge was 5 years ago this month! And each year we celebrate this day as our Family Day, a day we focus just on our crew.

Each year we do this a little differently depending on where we are physically and financially. In years past, we've tried to do a fun activity (Zoo, Children's Museum, Chena Hot Springs, family hike) and then go out for a family dinner. For our activity this year, we were pulled towards providing a deeper experience for our kids. With all that is going on in our day-to-day lives, it's far too easy to disconnect from the life experiences of others around the world.

We feel it's important for our kids to understand that there so many things to be thankful for each day, AND even more reasons to find opportunities to give back and help. There is no reason to use all that we have just for ourselves when there are kids throughout our country and the world with so little. So, this year we took our family to The Compassion Experience, a mobile exhibit that allows you to step into the world of 2 children growing up in a 3rd world life. We started by experiencing the story of a boy from Ethiopia whose parents left him with an Aunt. He wasn't allowed the same privileges as his cousins, but his story shows how he kept a positive outlook. After time, a neighbor convinces his Aunt to allow him a chance to be a student on scholarship. His story goes through the heartache he experiences, but also the support he received from his sponsors to finally become an artist and builder.

As we walked through his experience,
listening to him tell his story, I watched how each of my kids reacted. My oldest four (5, 5, 8, & 10) looked through each room interacting with the story. They were engaged, and showed elation for his successes, and sadness for his defeats. His story hit each of them in a different way. Two of the kids were overwhelmed with all of it, and were ready to be done when we exited his story. The other two were ready to learn more as they looked through the pictures of kids that we could choose to sponsor.

It was at this point, that my wife took the two that wanted to go on to the second story, while I took our youngest, and the other two out to a playground next to the exhibit. We were all moved by the reality of their lives, and left the experience wanting to help. And while we couldn't commit to sponsoring a child this go around, it is a goal of ours. We will instead get back to our Christmas tradition of giving a gift of a farming Heifer International.  There are many options for helping, and I've linked to the gift page on their site to see all of the great options. Please take the time to visit both sites and consider helping this holiday season.
animal to a family in need through

Listening Ears

My wife and I have used the phrase "put on your listening ears" with all of our kids over the years. We use it when we can see that our crew can hear that we're talking, but just aren't listening to what we're saying. Or when they anticipate what they think we are going to say missing our point completely. As parents, we try to emphasize the importance of listening to those around you in order to be effective communicators. By listening to and considering all sides or opinions, educated and thought-out opinions can be established and then further explained.

Now, that doesn't mean that I'm always perfect at it, as I'm sure my wonderful wife will tell you that I often anticipate what she is saying, and speak to points that she never made. For the record.. she does it too.. Just less often :)

We all get caught up in the speed of the world around us, and selectively listen to most things. We hear the points we want to hear, anticipate our conclusions, and stand by opinions that we truly can't have a foundation on based on the lack of listening we've actually done.

The other day, after the last debate, I was speaking with an adult peer of mine. This person was surprised that I wasted my time listening to the debate stream from my phone. "Really? I knew it would be a train wreck. I know what they're going to say." In fact, I noticed many posts on Facebook saying how they were SO glad to skip the debate to watch football or whatever else.

And THIS surprises me. Because in this same conversation the person, and another peer went off on the increasing premiums and pharmacy costs under ObamaCare. And everything they were frustrated about was exactly a talking point of Secretary Clinton. I listened to her speak to each of their frustrations during that debate. And when I said that, these two adult peers of mine admitted that maybe they should watch the next debate.

I've let this conversation sit in the back of mind as I continue to watch and read things on Facebook supporting the idea that many of us are selectively listening and anticipating talking points from each of these candidates. So much so, that I see so many people picking candidates without actually listening, OR sometimes worse, based on feelings about a person that they've never met, and only know about through media coverage.

We are less than a month away from one of the most important voting days in my lifetime. So, I encourage you all, to put on your listening ears. Really listen to the candidates without selective listening, without anticipating your own feelings about what you think is going to be said. We expect that of our kids, our friends, our employees, the students in our schools, and our elected officials. But I feel that there are many out there that are missing that expectation of ourselves during this election. If you do that, I don't care which candidate you choose. I just want to know that those that voted listened, truly listened to the points the candidates are making for our country.

My Teacher Dad Vote

I have never much been into politics. As a kid, I was always just focused on being a kid (playing sports, GI Joe, Star Wars, video games, etc.). It always surprised me when I met people my age that were so passionate about politics. Especially in college. I had and still have fraternity brothers that are actively involved in everything politics.

The first time I voted was for President Bush Jr in 2000. I just didn't like Gore.. Not sure why I didn't, but didn't. Then 9/11 happened and in 2004 I voted for President Bush again. I felt like he was the best to continue navigating us through the Middle East mess. At some point, I learned to believe that I was a Republican. 

During Bush's second term, my first 2 kids were born, and I had become a teacher. I began to listen more to the happenings of the world around me. I actively listened to the 2008 candidates. Things began to matter so much more for my own kids, and for the livelihood of my students and their families. I was moved in so many ways as I listened to the message of hope spoken by candidate Obama. He spoke with such intelligence, passion, and pride. I felt patriotism for him as a leader that I never felt for any President in my life at that point. I remember standing, holding my then 7 month old daughter with tears in my eyes as he spoke in Grant Park having just been elected President. I was so proud to be in that moment with her knowing our country was truly moving forward. 

In the 8 years since that moment, I stand proud of all that our President has worked to accomplish. But, I'm stunned at what has happened to our country. I'm now the father of 5 kids. Two of those 5 are twin black boys. I've gone from having tears of pride to having tears of real fear and worry for our future. Today, we have a candidate that can be openly prejudiced against different races, cultures, & religions and gain support towards winning the presidency. How can that be? Because his opponent in this election has support from big business? Because she has become a political scapegoat for a terrorist act on an US Embassy? Because she's a woman that is intelligent and with a strong voice?

I'm not going to sit here and say that I'm a huge Hillary supporter. In fact, I voted for Bernie in the primaries. But, for the record, I'm not voting for her as an anti-Trump vote. Not at all in fact. 

I don't think of myself as a vocal person. I like to sit back and listen to any and all respectable sources be that blogs, podcasts, shares from friends that I respect and trust. And through that I've learned a lot about Hillary Clinton. I've learned that she's made mistakes, but has had plenty of victories in areas that I believe in. 

I'm voting for her, because she's never backed down. She has taken hit after hit from things as personal as her marriage, to her political opinions. And yet, she never ran away or backed down from her drive for presidency. She has shown resilience when all around her criticised her and called her a murderer. She didn't get nasty back, either. She didn't get into petty name calling. For the way that I've seen it, she has stood by what she has believed in, but has allowed her views to change as she has listened to all that is around her.

I've learned in my own life that when you are doing great things, making changes, and are at the top, you will be attacked. Your actions all the way down to the number of soccer shoes you have or your classroom management style will be questioned. And it is so easy to hear all that is said and hide away. But Hillary hasn't. She continued to stay in the center of things, and to follow her path in life with strength, confidence, and gusto.

So while one candidate stands as a symbol of fear and hate, I see another that is a shining example of female resilience and strength. She is an example that I would be proud to have my daughters look up to. She compliments what they already see in my wife (a business owner, strong, determined, passionate). So, yes. My vote is for Hillary. I'm not going third party. I have no need to. Because in my life I want to know that my kids will grow up knowing that it is normal for a black man to be president and for a woman to be president because that is the right direction for our country and that is what continues to make our country great.

They're smarter and more balanced, because state testing..?

State Testing.

Just in reading those words, you're already a bit angry.. aren't-cha! Since my students took the Smarter Balanced math test in May, I've been trying to process my feelings and thoughts on the matter.  And the word that best sums up my experience and the experience of my students is torture. For one, I spent each class block listening to the same complaints and questions:

*Do we have to take this?  *Is it a grade?  *Will I still graduate if I do bad?
*Then why are we taking it? *This is stupid! *I don't care how I do on it?
* Does this even matter to anyone? *You never taught us this!
* These questions are impossible! *Seriously, who came up with these questions?
*Shit!..err, Sorry Mr. Mach, but what the hell?! When did we learn this?
*Why can't I have my cell phone?!!

That last one.. the cell phone. It was if I was creating a horcrux out of it by murdering their souls as I asked them to place their device into the plastic container. The look of hatred that spewed from them.. I'm thankful that my small children weren't around to witness it!

The students harbor so much hatred towards these tests, or at least a strong enough percentage of them do. And I don't like using the word hate, but it fits for this. They hate the test, the process, the time waste, and the feeling it gives them. No one likes to feel stupid, and for many the Smarter Balanced test makes them feel so very, terribly stupid. And there are a couple main reasons that the kids walk away feeling stupid after these tests.

For this first reason, I'm taking a higher ground approach, and making the difficulty of this test reflective of teachers. So, the Smarter Balanced Test asked questions that require a Depth of Knowledge that most teachers just aren't getting to with their students. This means that while the kids may actually know the concept, the questions are asked in a way that requires them to show that understanding or apply the understanding differently. This is a shot to the gut when you can see the information you need, but you're not directly sure how to use it to get to the correct answer.

Now, to piggyback on that.. these questions are HARD. There are few adults that work for any of the governing bodies of the 15 member states of the Smarter Balanced Assessment Consortium that would take the test and feel good about themselves afterwards. I've been "privileged" enough to work through the interim assessment and walked away feeling challenged, tired, and down about the prospect of my students feeling prepared. And I feel like I'm an above average teacher. But there is just something in the way the test is worded and how the test is laid out that can at times be confusing. There is a practice test that anyone can take (click here), and I would encourage you to take a look just to get a feel for what I'm talking about.

Ultimately, these tests are trying to serve a purpose. We all can agree that we want the children of this country to receive the best education possible. And I would hope we can also agree that standardized tests are NOT the best way to make that happen. With over 98,000 public schools in our country, we can NOT expect each of them to be working at the same level, especially when funding and resources are not even close to being equally distributed OR socio-economic lifestyles and opportunities are SO diverse from one neighborhood school to another. These tests can serve the purpose of showing us teachers that we need to strive to improve student depth of knowledge, but there are better ways to make that point than picking a standardized test that allows for a strong percentage of students to walk away feeling stupid after taking it. That doesn't improve anyone's academic experience, or lead to a generation of high school grads confident for their future and ability to positively impact the world around them.

It's not okay. The right way to accept an apology.

All day, everyday I deal with kids. Yes, this is by choice. I decided to become a teacher, and I always knew that I'd be a dad one day. So naturally, yeah, I interact with kids regularly. And, much like adults, they make mistakes, say things that are mean, do things to be mean, and all around act like.. well..kids.

Through all of my interactions with kids there is a certain issue I'm growing very tired of, and it has to do with apologies. I think we can all agree that apologies are often things that are only said, and not always felt. A true apology shows feelings, remorse, and an overall acknowledgment of the hurt caused by the loss of trust in that moment.

In the hecticness of life, we all spew out apologies so quickly and easily that we are causing a new problem that I'm truly growing tired of, especially since it's making its way through popular media "reality" and/or "politics." And this problem has to do with the phrase "that's okay." This phrase should no longer be acceptable when an apology has been offered up. It has become so standard that it's almost a reaction now, like getting into the car and buckling up. You don't think about it, but there you are driving all buckled up.

Sure, there are certain times when saying, "that's okay," when an apology is given is totally acceptable. But, we are saying it way too much any more, and we need to get into the practice of actually accepting an apology in a way that shows self respect, and acknowledges that what happened wasn't okay, and shouldn't happen again. I would love to hear more, "I appreciate that apology, but what happened wasn't okay. It hurt, and I really hope it doesn't happen again." Just think if we were to start accepting apologies more like that! And not, "that's okay." Because it wasn't and isn't okay to be hurt by other's words or actions. But we are creating groups of people that keep pushing the issue, because they keep hearing "that's okay" for their apologies. The remorse in doing something wrong isn't there, and they keep getting away with it, because we are modeling weak ways of accepting apologies.

As a dad and a teacher, I've been stepping in to better model how this works. It's been amazing watching how the kids have altered things in my classroom and at home just in how I've responded to apologies by what I'm saying or having the kids say. I've listed a few options below as ideas to try when you are accepting an apology, or are helping a kiddo receiving an apology.

• Thanks for apologizing, but please don't do it again. I'm disappointed in how that went down.
• I accept your apology, but I'm not happy that happened, and I'm still hurt. 
• I hear your apology. I know that I'm expected to accept it, but I'm still hurt by what happened.
• Thank you for apologizing. I do appreciate it, and I can see that you feel bad about what happened.  

I would encourage all of you fellow parents and/or teachers to at least consider finding your own way to escape from using the "that's okay" response in apologies. We can see in social media and the news all of the crazy things people seem to be getting away with saying and doing; and the insincere apologies that follow. It's up to us to show and encourage those around us to speak up with appropriate responses to apologies. This isn't to be done in a way that attacks the person apologizing, but to instead reinforce our own self worth, and establish the notion that what happened isn't okay, and shouldn't happen again. 

Thanks for taking the time to follow and support The Teacher Dad. If you haven't already, please take the time to follow The Teacher Dad on Facebook and on Twitter. And don't forget to subscribe to The Teacher Dad at the bottom of the page to get your FREE copy of my ebook which discusses how to approach teachers with your student's academic struggles.

You're the perfect mom for your kid(s)!

I've been blessed to have been surrounded by so many amazing mothers over the years. Obviously, my mom has been my one and only mother through every day of my life. She has shown me so much about strength, love, and determination. She has given tough love, but has also shown me what unconditional love and pride truly is. She's amazing and I thank the universe everyday for her and all that she is to my sisters and I. And I include my sister, because I see so much of the love my sisters have for their kids as a reflection of what my mom has been to all of us. She truly has been a shining example of motherhood to the point where I think the universe had a plan in putting her birthday so close to mother's day! But to be fair, I'm not saying that my mom was perfect.. gasp!!! None of us are.. But what I've come to understand is that she has been the perfect mom for me.

In looking through my facebook feed lately, and reflecting on all of the moms I've seen during my life I realized that I'm also so incredibly lucky to have witnessed other amazing mothers and their styles of parenting. When I think back to my childhood, I remember my Aunties (my mom's sisters) and their different mothering styles. I see their strengths in the wonderful parents that my cousins have become.  Each of them show amazing dedication to their kids while bringing a zest for humor and youthfulness. I see in each of them the amazing qualities I will always remember of my Aunties (their moms).

But it doesn't stop there! It hit me that even my best childhood friends had great moms in their lives, and in turn these old friends of mine are amazing dads and moms as well. I see them all with wonderful spouses, careers, and lives that I know reflect much of the dreams their moms continue to have for them. And again, I'm not saying these wonderful ladies were perfect, but for my friends and who they are today, their moms were perfect for them to guide them to this point. 

And in thinking about moms, I can't continue without bringing up my mother-in-law. A modern day angel. A person who exemplifies kindness and love in all she does. A person who literally risked her life to have her 3 youngest children. Having her as a mother figure in my life for nearly 15 years now has made me see just how precious every moment is. Her mothering style is different from that of my own mom, and was perfect for raising the 4 strong, intelligent women her daughters have become. 

All of this leads to my final realization, and the point of this post. When I took this past Mother's Day and this past week, to think about all of these wonderful moms I've been blessed to know, I can take all the things that I admire of them individually and put them together as all of the things that make my wife the absolute best mom in the world for our kids. She shows the softness and care of her own mother; the unconditional pride/love and strength of my mother; and the joyful laughter and youth of my aunties combined with many other qualities that are guiding our 5 wonderful kids through childhood towards being adults.. one day.. not soon! :)

And no, she's not always perfect. But moms aren't supposed to be. Kids need to not just see the perfect. Kids need to see the struggle and the mistakes, and how we work through them, and become stronger. My wife shows love, pride, laughter, and joy while displaying her strength and perseverance throughout each day. My kids have a mom that creatively and professionally runs her own business while she does the work of a stay at home mom. I'm a lucky man to know that she is the model my kids grow up with each and every day.

So, to all of the moms in my life, thank you for being who you are to your kids. And remember that you are the perfect person to be in this role for your children. You are who they need (good and bad) to help them to become the grown-ups they are destined to be.

Use the comments section below to tell me about your mom! What qualities from her did you admire the most, OR what lessons did you take away in the "what NOT to do" category?

Thanks for taking the time to read my post. If you are new to The Teacher Dad site, you can follow me on Facebook and on Twitter for updates and Teacher-Dad related ideas, thoughts, and posts! You can also subscribe below to receive email updates and a free copy of my ebook The Teacher Dad Guide to Inclusion and Accommodations (How to approach teachers about your student's academic struggles). 

My life path connects to #Ecuador, and NOW so does Yours! We need your help!

In my lifetime, I've come to the belief that our lives have a certain path that is laid out before us. And, throughout that path, we are led to places we would have never expected, and initially don't understand. But after awhile, the reason we are where we are, and have experienced all that we have experienced becomes obvious. We suddenly come to a place on the path where past moments and relationships pull together creating an overwhelmingly emotional and/or enlightening experience the humbles us to the smallness of our world, AND the powers of our Universe.

The earthquake in Ecuador a week ago has created one of these moments in my life. I'm writing this extremely overwhelmed at how events in my life have pulled together in a way that allows my family, that is fighting to not only survive, but to also save others, to get help from a Sigma Chi Fraternity Brother whom I've not directly spoken to since graduating 16 years ago.

I've been asking myself how it came to be that this beautiful Alaskan chose to come to Des Moines, IA to attend Drake University? How is it that I then fell in love with her, and her wonderful family? How is it that I joined the Fraternity that a young man from Ecuador also decided to join? Why did my wife's younger sister and her husband decided to move to Ecuador? And I realize that part of the reason this all came to be is so that during this tragic time in Ecuador these three wonderful people would be there to help each other, and all of those that need support while the country works to recover.

Now, I'm using this platform to reach YOU. YOU that have found my site, and have been reading my posts. Maybe you've been a fan, or maybe this is your first time coming across my site. Regardless, you have now crossed my path, and I'm asking YOU to help these three amazing people that are fighting to save others after this terrible earthquake. The devastation is severe, and the infrastructure in Ecuador is making things very hard to get help to those that need it. I'm asking YOU to not stop your prayers for those in Ecuador. I'm asking for you to contribute to one of the sites linked below, so more relief/aid can get to those that need it. Share this post, or share the video below on your Facebook and Twitter. Don't let those fighting to survive be forgotten. Please find a way to help.

The above video is from Canoa, Ecuador. This is where my sister-in-law and her husband live. The Surf Shak is the restaurant that they had just sold this past fall. The current owners were both injured during the quake, and are hospitalized. You can read their story, here.

There are several link below that can help get funds to those working to rebuild. Please go to the Canoa Ecuador Earthquake Relief Facebook page to follow the progress and to find more ways to help.

This link goes to the gofundme site raising money for Canoa. Click here.
This is also a gofundme account going directly to a former firefighter and 9/11 first responder now living in Canoa and working to rebuild the community. Click here. <<Suggested by my sister-in-law, Maija!>>
This link is to the UNICEF page. Click here.
The James Dean Byrd Foundation to donate relief funds to get the school back up and running for the kids in Canoa to have a bright spot to their days. Click here.

I'm not linking to the Red Cross at this time, as there is not a way to donate exclusively to relief efforts in Ecuador.

If you have other, or better ways to help aid those in Ecuador please let me know in the comments or through email at theteacherdad(@)gmail.com.

My First Daughter - How we built our special Daddy/Daughter relationship

My favorite picture the 2 of us from years ago!

Eight years ago today, my First daughter was born. As a hopeless dreamer, I was thrilled to have a daughter. I could imagine the wonderful daddy-daughter relationship we would have.. picturing me as Steve Martin's George Banks character from The Father of the Bride. I could only smile at all of the perfect moments that
would be coming for the both of us. But, as we all know, movies are not always the best reflection of reality, and I will be the first to admit, my daughter's first handful of years were a bit of a challenge for me.

Now, please understand, it wasn't her that was the cause of the friction. Oh no.. It was me. In the moments I was struggling as a papa to my daughter, I would have said it was her that was the difficult one. But now, looking back over all of her wonderful 8 years, I just see that my understanding of that Daddy/Daughter bond was built differently than I expected.

I started my journey as a father of a beautiful daughter in many ways forgetting that my delicate flower was not so much a delicate flower. I expected her to need me more, to listen more, to almost hang from my every word.. I mean .. I'm her daddy! I'm the most special man in her life! I don't know what I was thinking! How incredibly foolish of me, huh?!

So, as I would approach situations with her, I expected to be in charge. But, that's not what the daddy/daughter relationship is all about! The successful dad to a daughter is man that can see that his role is to learn how to be needed by his daughter. For me, I learned that my oldest daughter needed me to figure out how to bring her back when her world seemed out of sorts. She needs a dad that doesn't get frustrated, because she'll take that head on in a battle royal! Instead, she needs me to provide for her a person that can center her when she's scared, hurt, sad, or feeling emotionally out of sorts. She's needs in me a man that models what the right reaction should be when she built up with emotion, and reacting to that pain in her own ways.

I learned how to be her rock, and that role just doesn't happen. I had to research, and try things. I had to be honest with myself when things didn't work. I had to learn to make her growth in becoming a strong, confident woman the center of my world. I had to figure out how to read what she needed of me, and provide that to the best of my ability. All in the name of building that wonderful/trusting daddy/daughter relationship that we both NEED in our lives.

It took awhile to really nail it down, but I can honestly say that I know I've got it now. My relationship with my oldest daughter is something so incredibly special. She can make me laugh harder than most people. Sitting and reading with her this past year, watching her grow in confidence as a student, listening to her sing, or come up with an imaginative dress-up pretend play story with her twin brother just is.. it's just so special for me.

Sure, she's tough. She's a red-headed, Alaskan, Sicilian spitfire. But she's also the most darling, loving, sensitive sweetheart of a girl as any in the world. I love her so much for all that she is to me, and for all of the ways that she has made me a better father and person.

Happy 8th birthday MGM. You are truly amazing.

St. Baldrick's.. because I hate cancer!

I know that I'm not alone in hating cancer. And I don't typically come out and say that I hate anything.. But I really, truly hate cancer with a passion, and how it damages a person and a family. Since I was 17 years old, cancer has been involved in my life in some capacity. But over the last 10 years, it's impact has been
overwhelming. I've lost 3 relatives directly to cancer since my oldest was born. I've also nearly lost my mom to heart disease related to her cancer treatments. And these feelings were compounded this past week with the "anniversary" of my Godmother's passing. She's the second of my aunts to lose the battle to cancer. Her death was incredibly hard for me, because she always made it clear that her role as my Godmother was special for her. I knew that I was a special part of her life, and other than my mom, there was no other special "role model" woman in my life than her... She's missed for sure.

With all of the ways cancer has impacted my life over the years, it was, and continues to be, an easy decision to participate in annual St. Baldrick's events. When I was approached to participate for the first time 10 years ago, I had two family members losing their battles. It came at a time that I needed to do something. I felt so powerless, and participating in St. Baldrick's provided a way for me to feel like I was could do something to at least honor their struggles.. their pain. I wanted to do it for my mom, her sisters, and my grandparents to let them know that I was with them.

To date, my participation, and the participation of others on teams that I've "captained" have raised over $14,000! I'm humbled by all that I've been able to do to show my love and support to all that battle cancer and its damages everyday.

I encourage all to please take the opportunity to put a few dollars to St. Baldrick's this year. AS much as I hate the idea of my family fighting cancer, I hate more the idea of kid.. a child, having to go through the same battles. Click the link below to go to my St. Baldrick's page.

https://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/849242/2016

A teacher and a tie

"I don't trust a teacher in a tie."

This was spoken in my direction from a fellow teacher as I was leaving my school recently. My quick response was, "I know, right? So, untrustworthy." This teacher was walking ahead of me and continued by saying, "I at least recognize you, so it's not your first year." It's at this point that I realized this person was suggesting that I was only in a shirt and tie because I was new to the school. I could feel the resentment to my newness. So, I hit my teaching peer back with, "no, it's my second year here, but my 11th year teaching."

As expected my teaching comrade spun around with a distasteful look, and said, "oh, so you're going to be an admin then, huh?" The disgust and judgement oozed off of every syllable of the question. I answered, "possibly." The reply was, "figures." And that was the extent of the conversation.

When I got to my car I laughed. Having just finished reading this blog post written by a veteran teacher calling out other long time teachers for their lack of leadership, and overall negative approach to the teaching profession, I realized I had just experienced this veteran teacher angst first hand. Sure it stung a little, but I totally get it. Teaching is just f#@$ing hard. I know to the outside world it doesn't look like it is, but when you do it right, it's exhausting to put so much passion and effort into teaching 100+ kiddos a day. Sure we get summers off, and nice holiday breaks, but after 20 years, it takes it's toll.

So then to watch the world around you change, and the social perception of educators change, it has to be so hard to wake up bounding out the door to work with kids that simply need you to motivate them to learn. It becomes easy to cash it in, and just start making it through year to year. You pick your top yearly lessons and hang your hat on the popularity of that single moment in the year. You adjust how it's written to meet the newest content standards that have been passed down to you.

Then you watch as the next crop of young teachers step in with tons of energy, enthusiasm, and "strategies." It's just hard. I totally get it. I'm 11 years into the profession, and I've tried leaving multiple times. I've interviewed for business positions trying to dust off my marketing degree. I'm tired too, but for me I always get called back to wanting to be in the classroom. It totally helps that I'm new to this school, and that over my 11 years teaching I've been in 3 different schools. I've mixed things up, and not allowed my career to be stagnant. My guess is that many of these "grumpy" veteran teachers have been in the same classroom for over 10 years! They need a change, and summers just don't cut it. They need a new class to teach, or a new school, or a new set of responsibilities. Sure that puts more on admins to recognize when a teacher needs that jump start, but it's super necessary.

Because the alternative, is a bunch of veteran teachers picking on people wearing ties.. and that's not cool! My mom gave me that tie! And I look damn good in it! I've been wearing a shirt and tie to teach for all of my years in the profession. I know that most teachers don't, but for me I see it as another way that I demonstrate to my students how seriously I take my job. I want them to know that dressing professionally isn't just for business folk, and that being a professional is something that you can display in looking nice for work.... and my MOM gave it to me! It's a nice tie!

Have you been "bullied" by a grumpy veteran teacher? Tell me about it in the comments below. And what do you think, is the veteran teacher angst just exhaustion from working a tough job for so long?