Two Weddings & My Family

Weddings are the best! Over the past 8 months, our crew has been to 2 wonderful weddings. There is just something so wonderful in having family together to celebrate love. And I've especially enjoyed the fact that my kids have been able to go and be a part of the magic.

Wedding Cake!!

That said, nothing is ever "easy" when it comes to getting a family of 7 ready for a wedding! The first wedding required a weekend trip with a dad (me!), 4 kids, and a prego wife at home. Nothing spells fun like airline travel with 4 kiddos! Thankfully, I had some help from a wonderful sister-in-law, and her boyfriend (the newliest-wedded couple!). The trip was a whirlwind with late nights, treats, food, treats, dancing, treats, swimming, and did I mention treats? The kids were so strung out on lack of sleep, sugar, and jet-lag that it took a good week just to get them back into the groove at home. And then all I heard was, "Do we leave for Auntie's wedding today?" And, "I liked the cake at Auntie's wedding!"

NO! Walk together!..Slow down! :)

Last weekend was wedding number 2! And unlike the first wedding, 6 of the 7 of us were IN the wedding. Ring bearers, flower girls, and a bride's maid! I was support cast in getting everyone where they needed to be - dressed and ready to go! Nothing spells wedding fun like organizing 4 year old twins to walk side-by-side down the aisle holding a sign for everyone to see! Or how about 4 of the 5 kids needing to use the bathroom during the ceremony! One of which was a near baby blow-out!

But through it all, the kids got to spend time with family. We spent nearly 2 weeks living in a house with my wife's parents, her sisters, their husbands, and all of the cousins. We swam, cooked, watched movies, played outside, and did family things. We created memories that will be everlasting for the kids... And of course they loved the wedding cake!

Much like the the first wedding, the transition back into "normal" life was tough. Tough is actually putting it nicely! And it wasn't just the kids! My wife and I still are spent from the festivities! It didn't help transitioning right back into work teaching summer school.

But now, after being home for just about a week, things are getting back to normal. So, what I've learned through this all is that the memories are priceless.. that is, if you can handle the transition back to the normal. For us it takes about a week. I wish that I had planned to not work the week after the wedding. Or it would have been great for the kids to have had a camp or more playdates set for when we returned, so we could have helped to smooth out the transition period. That said, no regrets! We all had so much fun at both weddings, and are so happy to have been there for our kids' beautiful Aunties!! 

Tell me about a wedding experience you had with your kids in the comments below. How was the transition back to normal life? What advice/tips would you give? 

Living On Through Our Family

My wife's last living grandfather passed away last Monday morning. He had been struggling with health, but at 85 years old he took each day grateful for all that he had. He was an amazing man, a true Alaskan Pioneer. He worked hard, but did so each day for the love of his family. I met him for the first time days before I married my wife. I felt as though I was instant family to him, and to be a part of this family (Fairbanks Royalty I call them) is quite amazing. Each time I saw him while around town, there was never a question of whether I would get a "hello," but whether I would be able to withstand the strength with which he hugged those he cared about. And he cared tremendously about my wife and our family.

Losing someone you care about is terribly difficult. And I will admit that I wasn't the closest person to Grandpa C. I'm not a blood relative. I'm just a lucky guy that hit the marriage lottery. That said, the hardest part of loosing her grandfather is feeling the pain his passing has created inside all of those that I am closely tied to. My wife, of course, but also my sister-in-laws, and most directly, my father-in-law. My admiration toward my wife's father is... well let's just say that I feel privileged to call him dad. He is amazing, and is someone that I look up to at level of my father. So, seeing him hurt at the loss of his father and knowing how much I care for both him and my own dad makes the passing of Grandpa C even that much harder.

But through all of the pain that the family is going through, I'm learning so much about coping with sorrow by seeing this wonderful crew come together to hold onto what Grandpa C created, family. And at the center of the healing has been the great grandkids of the patriarch. My kids have been a part of the ray of happiness that has provided the break in the grief that my father-in-law, his siblings, and all of their kids have been feeling. They have been able to provide the smile through the tears.  Each one of the little kiddos running around is here because of what this one man created with his life. And now these little ones are helping to provide the sense of continued history for this great man, and to be here to help warm our hearts during this difficult time.

I don't know what your personal belief system is, and I'm not here to preach anything to you. I can't say that I'm a "religious" person. I am spiritual, and I have a deep faith in the beauty of life. That said, what I have come to believe about life and death has been learned through the lives of my own children and their great-grandparents. It has so impressed me to watch the interactions between people separated in life by some many years. They live through each other creating a bond that is truly overwhelming. Each hug is cherished. Each laugh a moment trapped in time. They've taught me to live for my family and the moments we have together. To never be afraid to hug as tight as you can, so the person can feel how deeply your care for them. To not wait for a phone call. To go to everything and to cheer loudly for everyone. And, most importantly, to celebrate each and every life we touch.

Since my oldest was born 7.5 years ago, he's lost 3 great grandparents. Three people that loved him to a level that only great grandparents could understand. And while you might think that this has been hard to deal with on the parenting side, I can say that his strength and faith in life has only made my wife and I stronger. The way all my kids have embraced living, and celebrating life is so remarkable. They keep everyone they care about so tightly in their hearts that each day is one to celebrate. The memories, the spirits, and the emotions they had with each of the "greats" continues to stay with them. I've witnessed my oldest have conversations with his "greats" after they have passed. I've seen how the new additions into our home seem hand picked by a recently lost loved one. I've witnessed so many miracles in my children that my belief system is ever changed. It doesn't make loosing someone so wonderful any easier. We all miss Grandpa C so much, and as the entire family prepares to go back to the new normal after this week of being together I can only cherish the fact that my four children had the honor to feel his love through so many kisses and hugs. He will always live forever in each of them. We love you Grandpa C. Thank you for helping to create such a wonderful and loving family, and we know that in this new adventure you are on each day you continue to pray and light candles for us all.

Daddy Dragon!!

I love being a dad. There is truly nothing more that I wanted to do than be a father when I grew up. So, when I'm home, I do all that I can to be around for my little ones. The down side is that the honey-do list tends to get put aside while I manage a house with 4 kids running around. This has been especially true during the summers. You know, during my "time-off" of teaching. My glorious wife (no she didn't have me write that) owns and operates her own business to continue the stream of income during my non-teaching times. And because she works from home, I do all I can to keep house and manage a daddy day-care. As I'm sure many wonderful housewives will tell you, "It's not easy." Throw on top the normal husbandry house hold chores, and I'm running crazy managing the daily stress created by all that needs to get done!

This past Saturday was a fine example of this. My kids like to get up talking, and being defiant toward anything that I suggest. They'll talk about anything. My oldest loves talking about his robot army that will protect the world, and any other invention he has come us with. My twins like to break all routine that I've tried to keep in place from when mommy was Queen Bee while I was at school. And my lovely daughter, well.. she's a 5 yo typical Alaskan toughie! It was a typical morning sprinkled with the stress of family coming into town, so there was a lot of work needing to be done around the house. That, and my wife was trying to wrap up work for some clients, so she can focus on the family as well. All that, and this was the way the day started:

Me: Alright, before you can have breakfast, you need to use the potty.
A (2 yo): NO!
Me: Please be quiet, mommy is sleeping
A: Mommy see-ping. Okay. No potty!
M (5 yo): Where's PK? Is he up? Can we watch TV?
A: NO!
PK (7yo): Dad will you make me eggs? And I was thinking that when I build my army of robots...
Me: A, you have to go potty. And M & PK will you please go down stairs?
M: PK let's play dragons in my room!!
PK: Sure! Dad will you be the daddy dragon?
ME: Where's OE? A, please get on the potty! Eggs? Sure.. Dragon? Maybe.. I'm just.. wait not in M's room. Remember, mama is still sleeping. Please go downstairs.
M: Yeah! Daddy Dragon will meet us in my room! And OE has your computer! GIVE IT BACK!
Me: Don't yell at OE.. AND PLEASE BE QUIET!
PK: Daddy Dragon, are you coming downstairs?

Now this conversation continued all through potty time and into breakfast. It was un-nerving to hear a constant chorus of "DADDY-DRAGON, Are you...!!"combined with a loud screaming from a hurt child! Then add in the stress of laundry, house cleaning, yard work, and family arriving soon, and my morning was quickly tailspinning out of control! I hadn't even had a sip of coffee yet!

Needless to say, I pretty much turned into a Daddy Dragon. If I could have blown fire, I'm not sure we'd have a house anymore. I'm not proud of it. And it took most of the day to get things back on track with me and the kids, and yes, mama had to get involved to simmer the tensions down. It wasn't pretty, and I felt terrible that I let the stressors of living in a family of 6 get to me.

So to better prepare for my days, I've been trying get up before everyone, and have me time. I'm in a better mood. I can focus on what I want to tackle that day, and I can meet the energy of the kids head on. And while I can still be a daddy-dragon at times, I know that getting myself on a routine that starts with me is important. I know that this "daddy" time is necessary, just like "mommy" time is necessary for all of the mommies out there. It's a hard job managing the house, kids, and everything else. Especially, when you have two or more bouncing in different directions! But, when I get those breaks to the day, the breaks my own wife talks about trying to get while I'm teaching all day during the school year, I'm a much nicer daddy-dragon. And I like being that type of daddy-dragon.. now if I can add more hours to the day to get some of these projects done I would be amazing!

Sit, Stand, Bend Over

I'm the father to 4 wonderful children. I have a 7 & a 5 year old (the bigs), and twin 2 year olds (the littles). Yes, it sounds as crazy as you would think! The unpredictability of each and every day is amazing. Each time my wife and I think we have it all planned out something happens that brings all of our momentum crashing down.

And it isn't like we have just one kiddo that we can count on for bringing the drama! Oh no, that would be easy. It is almost as if they talk it out in the middle of the night, and decide which of them is going to be the loon-bucket that day. Or which ones, and how they're going to rotate throughout the day to see at what point my wife and I are going to break and fall into complete insanity!

To top it off, we are potty training the twins. They are doing remarkably great, and we have plenty of victories each day, but when the unpredictable moments can now include smeared poop and screaming, things can get out of hand quick.

I can only relate it to a sketch that comes from the show Whose Line is it Anyway? called "sit, stand, bend over." It sounds worse than it is, but the main idea is for the improv comedians to go through a scene where in each moment one has to be sitting, one standing, and one bending over. And through out the scene they try to throw each other off by switching positions. Here's an example:

I feel this is a perfect representation of what parenting 3 or more children is like. Except it isn't sit, stand, bend over. In fact, you never know what version you could possibly be playing. And that's the best part, you don't get to be a member of the audience! Oh no, you get to be an unwilling participant in the crazy game! Sometimes it is fighting, asking, helping. I'll be fighting trying to get the twins on the potty, while the 5 year old is asking for something to eat, and the 7 year old is helping by sitting in his room. Or maybe you'll find yourself in the "public tantrum, snotty nose, questioning" game! Like today at the store when we were leaving and the 5 year old was screaming off the hook with the 7 year old asking over and over if he behaved well enough to be off restriction and the youngest twin was covered in green, gooey snott. It was awful trying to pay for the 3 items we needed while managing everything. I think I actually at one point wiped his nose with my fingers and scrapped it on an old receipt! Extra points for that one!

I love my days with the kids so much. They definitely keep my wife and I on our toes. And at the end of the day, its always fun to sit back and laugh at just how much drama and chaos we survived, knowing that one day we'll be missing it so much, just as our own parents miss us now. So no. I wouldn't change a thing. As crazy as it can be, and as much snott and crap (literally) we deal with, I couldn't be happier to have such a big and unpredictable family.